Dear Eric, my husband and I recently celebrated our daughter’s marriage in our charming, opulent beach town in California. The reception was described as” wines, supper, and dancing”, and children were not included.
The dress was” Festive Cocktail Attire”, which was communicated via a save-the-date notice sent on document via the U. S. postal support and email. Nine weeks prior to the wedding, the recognize was sent.
Two weeks before the wedding, the offer included the dress code as well.
It was a fantastic event, with great Spanish dishes, a 12-piece life circle and fun, vibrant decor chosen by my daughter. With one strange exclusion: My husband’s older sister, a woman of 76 years, who lives in an even more upscale near town, but who arrived at our event looking like she had just taken a walk on the beach, in bright jeans, very everyday sandals, and the sort of outfit shirt you might put on to go grocery shopping.
However, her father followed our costume script, as did her child in a fabric designer cocktail dress and shoes. This older sister was the topic of many guesswork, as she stood out like a sore thumb.
Many of our sons ‘ friends who had, of course, dressed up, asked if she had done it on purpose, when did a couple of my companions.
I’m not sure what to think, but this incident brings me to my own bridal more than 35 years ago. In the spirit of creating polite connections, I had asked my father’s girl, whom I had just met a couple of times, to be one of my girls. She phoned my father demanding that he paid for her maid dress after we took her on a class trip to select bridesmaid dresses. Later, I overheard her sluting the bridesmaid’s gown to a few friends. I had put this incident completely out of my mind until she showed up at my daughter’s wedding dressed inappropriately. What do you think?
– Attired Correctly
Dear Attired: I think your sister-in-law was dressing comfortably because” Festival Cocktail Attire” actually does n’t mean anything anymore. Technically, it’s supposed to be semi-formal with a little flair added, but even that is vague enough to be of no use. In the early 2000s, I believe everyone became a little perplexed about it and gave up trying to care.
I ca n’t tell you how many events I’ve attended where people show up wearing whatever they want. The dress code is” Festive Cocktail Attire.” It’s chaos. There are too many words in the description. We’ve lost the plot.
Your sister-in-law sounds like someone who does n’t place the same value as you do on fashion trends. I have a suspicion that she leads a very different kind of life. Therefore, she might consider a wedding in a beach town close to her own with white jeans and a casual shirt.
A very unsatisfying form of revenge is to dress inappropriately. Therefore, it’s much less likely that she was communicating with you. Unless the message reads,” I’m 76, this is who I am, congratulations on your special day,”
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