Destiny’s Child first released the three-minute, 34-second music” Nasty Girl” in 2002, and the refrain has been frequently soaring into my head as I look at red-carpet photos on Google lately. You know the lyrics:” Nasty, put some clothes on, I told ya / Do n’t walk out your house without your clothes on, I told ya”. You see, while I’m defiantly pro the” sleazy” and “freaky” in this world and adamantly anti- slut- shaming, I’m afraid that—from a fashion perspective— I’ve reached my threshold for any and all looks that the Mail Online might describe as” setting pulses RACING” or The Sun would accompany with a pointedly zoomed- in crop ( “]Genetically blessed individual ] narrowly avoids a wardrobe malfunction” ).
It’s not that I do n’t want people to express themselves however they choose, I’m fully with Madonna on that front. Only that I prefer to look at honest- God clothes more than to gaze upon several acres of pretty toned, quite tanned skin at any given premiere. Fashion editors have spent endless hours thinking about how to explain the models that celebrities are n’t really wearing over the course of the 2020s, a generation that, I think we can all agree, has been absolutely hilarious. We’ve seen the development of the “nether belly” as an erogenous corridor, an unfathomable predilection for “midriff flossing”, the development of “bra- second” outfits as a concept, and the revival of” the dressed dress”, an oxymoron if ever there was one. Before going pantless in Hollywood seems to have taken hold, let’s say, before mentioning the flagrant disregard for all different kinds of pants that appear to have taken hold there. Sadly, this is not where I live in London, where the average temperature will be around Correct- Constable- corpsicle levels until at least April.
Congratulations to Sydney Sweeney for actually coming up with a “risqué” yet fascinating look that no one in my office could quite describe ( though I did enjoy a last-minute WhatsApp suggestion of “bosom bouquet” ). The 26-year-old sported a sculpted Balmain bustier adorned with motifs from Olivier Rousteing’s drop 2024 set for the villa, which the custom designed as a tribute to the fragrant gardens and royal crus of Bordeaux, where he spent his childhood, while attending the premiere of her film Immaculate on Friday. The Euphoria star has had a second double-take-inducing search in as many days. She even posed for paps at the GLAAD Media Awards wearing a custom Miu Miu enjoyment of Julia Roberts ‘ maid-of-horse dress from My Best Friend’s Wedding on Thursday night. Two fashion coups in a single week? Impressive.